If there are two things that Mona, our Bodlon Bride buys when planning her big day, it's these two little trusted essentials. Our bride will come to guard her Wedding Planner book with her life.
Handy enough to carry around in her ambarg, she can whip it out while out shopping with Mammy at John Lewis in Cardiff to jot down ideas and compile that wedding list.
Mammy 's got enough to worry about what with the Vicar off with an attack of shingles and they still can't decide finishing touches on the cake for the Big Day on Saturday. Yet she still has time to impart invaluable maternal advice to her daughter as they both try on outfits.
'What d'you think of this for my going away outfit Mam - it fits perfect like but the collar's a bit high it is. It's stranglin' me .'
If it's stranglin' you now love, you can bet your bottom dollar it'll be stranglin' you by the end of the night. Comfort, Mona comfort. Right now then. This one will do me.'
Mammy fixes her lippy and promptly walks out to pay for a Damsel in a Dress number she's just taken fifteen minutes to squeeze her ample bosom into.
Her mobile vibrates.
"Yes . This is Renee. No! You're jokin' me? Gerraway. 'E aven't 'ave 'e? O 'ec. Mona!Mona! Dadi 's lost 'is false teeth ! We 'll have to put 'im at the back or e'll ruin the photos. Right now then. Where's the bedding."
Renee spots a sales assistant.
'Young man! Bedding if you will.'
'Certainly madam .This way.'
The helpful assistant proceeds to take Renee to a display full of sheets, pillowcases and blankets.
'Anything in particular you are looking for madam?'
'I 'm looking for a Dyfed Quilt for my Mona's wedding."
The sales assistant looks puzzled.
" I'm sorry madam , 'Dyfed' Quilt did you say ..........'
Renee scours the shelves,
'Ah! There they are b'there! That's the one, Micro fibre anti allergy. We don't want Dave sneezing all over Mona on their wedding night.
"She means a DUVET,' smiles Mona,running up, waving her Bodlon Ein Diwrnod Mawr notebook at the assistant,pointing at 'number 5 things to get in John Lewis.' "
'I knew this book would come in 'andy."
Meanwhile, dependable Dave has met up with the best man to go through the speech. The choice couldn't have been anyone else because Carwyn and Dave had been buddies all their lives. They met on the estate at the back of the garages. Their friendship was sealed for all eternity in the summer of '92 when the six year olds went out cycling and the breaks went going downhill. With one bike between them, a be-speckled Carwyn perched on the handlebars, the only way to avoid the brick wall was a skilful swerve by Dave into a nearby hedge. With the scar to prove where his national health glasses were embedded in his nose from the somersault, Carwyn owed Dave big time.
'You saved my life that day butt.'
It didn't matter that Carwyn could sometimes be two sandwiches short of a picnic. Dependable Dave was there to help out.
'So what you got then Car?''
'Well I looked up Wedding speeches online like and it's more or less sorted. I thoughtI'd finish with,
'Behind every successful man stands an amazed woman.'
Dave looked annoyed.
Carwyn looked puzzled.
Well she's amazin' in she?"
As the big day dawns, bright and clear in the July sunshine, family and friends assemble in the local church on time. Carwyn and Dependable Dave smartly dressed in morning suits ,wait at the altar. The first bars of 'Here comes the Bride' starts playing and Mona enters the church with proud toothless Dadi on her arm. The bride looks radiant, Mammi's crying and Dadi's got his lips closed. The happy couple step up to take their vows. It's all going brilliantly.
Then the vicar asks,
'May I have the rings?'
Carwyn smiles and puts his hand into his breast jacket pocket. He raises his eyebrows and puts his hand in his other pocket. Shifting uneasily, his glasses steaming up, he digs both hands in his trouser pocket. The silence in the church is deafening. The vicar looks at Carwyn, Carwyn looks at Dave. Dave puts one hand in his pocket while taking Mona's left hand with the other.The bride feels a gentle pull on her finger. Dave ties a neat bow, looks into her eyes and says,
'to have and to hold from this day forward'.
Mona melts.
Trust Bodlon's Wedding Vow ribbon to save the day.
Altogether now. Aw!
No comments:
Post a Comment